Monday, July 21, 2008

The Life


It's 6:55pm and steam is rapidly filling the bathroom, slowly escaping from the cracked open door. The apartment is extremely neat. senators Norris & Wolf sit by the dining table, reviewing notes and highlighting email printouts. Tommy Jardon paces around the kitchen, arguing with GDI alum Will Foster, who's called in to chew out the O&B leader over the Paul Drayton issue.

"Shut up! Seriously, we can't think over here," Norris exclaims. Tommy is then overhead: "I'll have to call you back Will, David [Meyrowitz] is calling." The former presidential candidate leaves the kitchen and peaks his his head into the steamy bathroom, "hurry it up Sam, we gotta get you to Senate." "Ok Tom, hang tight, I'll be out shortly.

Downstairs Sen. Frank Bracco leans up against the O&B 2008 Nissan Armada. He enjoys some Orbitz gum and looks up at the Gainesville sky. Miorelli is out of the shower, towels off, and dresses quickly.

"Is he ready yet?" -- Mark [McShera] wants to know. Norris & Wolf wrap up their impromptu meeting and file down with Jardon to the waiting Armada, as Bracco can be heard revving V6 muscle. Jardon awaits by the door, helping Miorelli into his Calvin Klein coat and reminding him that tonight he must be in top form to review the O&B Senators, next he will have to briefly attend a NORML meeting where dozens will want to shake his hand, hug him, and/or have their photo taken with him. But the night won't be over, he'll have to ARRIVE at the Swamp, flanked by party brass and this week's favorite senators.

Per usual, Jardon will go ahead, getting a choice table and ordering a freshly opened bottle of Chivas Regal, several glasses, plenty of ice, one chair for all the senators "that count," enough glasses for the rest of 'em. "One drink, Sam, we don't have time for more," Jardon insists. Per usual, all the O&B take a drink and then Miorelli goes over to the Reilly's table and gives him what's left of the bottle, "here, you & yours can have a real drink," then he'll grab Reilley his designer-knock-off suit and tell him, "nice threads."

Then back to the Armada to drive around town and discuss pressing matters with Jardon & Wolf at his side, with Cavatero, Norris, Huey, & McShera on the Blackberry and Bruce Haupt on the BlueTooth.

[later in the car to Jardon]"This life [Miorelli lazily kicks off his shoes, stretches out, and slumps in the seat]...sometimes I wish I could be just like everyone else." But of course, Jardon replies back, "you're the one we've been waiting for, Sam, you're the one that's going to defeat the Machine and save the movement."


That's the life, that's the price. DON'T WHINE! Sam Miorelli may have doors opened for him - literally, he may have senators shine his shoes, press his clothes, fluff his pillows, he may have men willing to die to protect his every life & limb, but Sam Miorelli doesn't get to live life like you, he's the messiah of the movement.

for entertainment purposes only.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Forget drayton, Kevin is going on a 5 week vacation soon.

Cain said...

wtf?

Bruce Haupt said...

negative, ghostrider.

I Met Him! said...

I met Sam at Turlington! At first, I didn't think his entourage would let me get close, but I guess I got lucky. He's really kinda laid back, considering his status.

Anonymous said...

"you're the one we've been waiting for, Sam, you're the one that's going to defeat the Machine and save the movement."

Did you take that from one of Sam's emails?

Anonymous said...

"Sam Miorelli is a man of mystery, a man of leadership, and a man very much on the move. With Bracco in the driver's seat (literally), you too may see the O&B Armada drive by you! And what will you do?! Miorelli may not be your next Student Body President, he WILL BE, he doesn't have a choice in the matter, the planets have lined up, and now it's just countdown."

Anonymous said...

wow, this is worse than Ken Kerns. And that's really saying something.

Anonymous said...

btw, many people in that group absolutely despise each other...

francisco said...

Yeah...the Frankmobile isn't quite as classy. Think 10 years older, American made, and manual windows & locks :lol:.

Mark said...

you nailed it. thats the closest anyone has ever come to pinning down the indie power structure

Anonymous said...

This is eerily similar to that erotic non-fiction he wrote about the girls in the Starbucks...

Anonymous said...

Aren't you going to email blast the whole Senate with this one?

will said...

Dead on. That is howe we roll.

Anonymous said...

5 week vacation! I wonder if he will make the paper as much as Drayton did?

The term vacation is different from internship. Wonder if anyone will catch that!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Norris & Wolf were violating some Florida Sunshine laws...

Spessard Holland's Ghost said...

I cannot believe that you have taken the SG universe and made it completely unbelievable.

Our next FBK Total Chapter meeting will be Thursday night at Napolitano's. Our after-meeting festivities will be held at Balls, Beer Pit, and Harry's

Anonymous said...

I expect to hear that Duque's meth lab in northern michigan blew up after ratcheting up production this week.

Anonymous said...

You should have a post profiling Jimmy Carlson, the lambda chi errand boy.

I'm sure there are many stories than can be sent in.

Anonymous said...

I don't want to know what Sam was doing in Tommy's shower.